Happy Valentine's day to you..

I iz back in the blogging world - finally.

After finding enough confidence and cool to write an entry without feeling woozy or nauseas every minute.

Because..yep, i'm pregnant.

hehe..almost 4 months now.

Apology for being so secretive (kunun).

 The plan of sharing the good news with most friends, especially in the blogging world was postponed..postponed..and postponed..because of the morning sickness.

Mau taip satu ayat tinguk skrin pun pening. mcm mn dii gia..

I remember two months ago..i couldnt even sleep, sit, or walk properly because of the nausea attack.

And now..im glad its all over. well..almost.

Unless if i see people spit, limpas tong sampah o tandas bebau..bau goreng yg melampau and smelly body odour. That really kills me.Other than that..i'll be o..kay. 

hehe..now you know my weakness.

So..on this Valentine's day..what better way to spread the love and joy than thru my litlle blog.

Happy Valentine's day everyone..

Thank you to my friends who have been understanding and sharing tips and advices on being pregnant.

gosh..its a whole new world for me. Kadang2 macm inda mau menerima kenyataan.

But..im happy.

o yeah.. :)

It's a few days before the new year and i feel ever so guilty for not updating anything here..

especially when i noticed that a few comments kept dropping by in my last post - O Christmas Tree.

Thank you very much for the visit n comments ya

The silence doesn't mean it's unappreciated.

A lot of happenings since pre Christmas had been pushing me to write and share with everyone..

but gosh..i just couldn't find the momentum.

 Hopefully this coming new year will bring me right back on track

and be the blogger i should be

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

O yes..something is up for everyone i'm sure in the coming year of the Rabbit :)

As a wise man says:

"An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. 

A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves."

Let' us all be the optimist that we are.

Happy New Year everyone..

It's not just a new year..it's a whole new period of time for us to begin anew n continue this walk on earth.

wow..hehe

I'll be staying in this new years eve..making sure everyone steps together to 2011.

Meanwhile..if you're celebrating it outdoor..have fun..

and please read the message below ya.. hehe

(brought to you by Google search)

nc says: selamat tahun baru smua.. tahun depan bnyk good news mau share sini ni tau..

I've lost another cat. Yesterday. Mysteriously. Again. Gone with the wild.

Taken by the wild? Nobody knows.

S a d.

That's the family fourth cat that's has mysteriously disappeared from our home.

. . . .

My laptop - hangus. Motherboard hancur - they said.

I dare not switch it on again.

For five faithful years it's been with me. 

Never having any problem, except for a few inescapeable formatting job.

(please don't ask how the heaven i managed to make THiS entry now)

The thought of Karma and the balance of life hit me, in the midst of this.

My white cat. Gone, disappear just like that. 

Is it just sooo a coincidence that my father shot a white crane (bangau bah) near by our home yesterday, and that the body still hang on top of a tree this morning.

(otiru no monimbak ii tapa..nga..everyone at home was unhappy)

Bad karma?

Coincidence?

Doesn't matter now.

I could not even show a picture of our precious putih since motherboard is down and hancur.

I had a chat with a relative a few days before..of getting a new and smaller laptop.

Since the weight of the current one is killing my back.

And now..

I don't know.

W H A T

nc says: putih was the name of our cat. Coincidently, three newborn kittens join the clan a few weeks ago.

And one of them was as white as snow. Putih.

..just want to share with you what i have learned from the B2.0 event.

 "It's easier to create a new blog than to maintain one"

A true point to ponder for all bloggers shared by one of the speakers of the B2.0 event.

hmm..true indeed.

"Blogging will never die as long as we do this three things:

1. Inspire

2. Inform

3. Interact

..in the blogosphere."

..quoting Mr Addy Kho , a blogger who specializes in e-commerce, eBay, and affiliate marketing..

One of the speakers for the B2.0.

I hope i have inspired you.

..i had fun.

But no more club or pub scene, please..hehe.
catch more pictures at.. iHaveADream Creations.

nc says: the Boutique Cupcake was adorable. I almost want to just KEEP iT as a souvenir.

Picture this:

An old couple.

The man with a walking stick, worn and torn shirt,

an expressionless face.

The woman, holding on to the man on one hand, a plastic bag full of empty aluminium cans on the other. Her face expresses only one thing: life must go on.

This is a real life senior citizen couple whom i have just witnessed a few hours ago. Amidst the crowd of the hustle and bustle of Centre Point surrounding.

S a d.

I have actually seen them a few times before making their rounds in the same building..looking for lucky cans to gather and sell, i guess.

My heart sank every time i see them.

The only question that came on my mind was..

'how could they??'

THEY: their children/relatives/families left them to fight their own life just like that???

WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN?

WHERE ARE THE FAMILIES? THE RELATIVES?

Don't they care?

Despite the mysterious background of the old couple, i am positive that they STILL have a family somewhere..

I am truly amazed at how the woman stand by her man (her husband, i suppose) when he's walking on stick. Truly. That is pure love. Real love. Commitment to a promise of being together for a life time.

(courtesy of Google)

We will all grow old one day.

Do not abandon the old.

They brought us here.

Remember: what you give, you get back. so give LOVE - unconditionally.

*This message is brought by Your's Sincerely..nc.*

..gosh..in no mood for merdeka day.. since..not everyone in Malaysia are truly merdeka yet-especially in their thoughts and actions.

nc says: kalau sa tenampak lagi dorang next time, sa mau bagi sesuatu..momom kah.. minuman kah..dont know whether they will accept or shout at me or not. But at least i tried. Promise.

I feel great.

Just great to be alive and breathing for 31 years.

(^_^)

and for all the joy, happiness, bittersweet things in life that have abundantly been bestowed upon in various forms..with or without realizing it.

I should be thankful.

..and so.. i woke up today with this particular song ringing in my head.

i like the tune. ignore the lyrics.. :)

and enjoy the music.

i can feel the music in me.

cewah...

NOTHING ON YOU
( B.O.B feat. Bruno Mars)

nc says: thank u dear friends for the wishes. ..to all the beautiful girls out there.. yes, YOU. this song is for you..listen to the song.. and feel great. bcos thats what u are.

..was down..n down n down..these few days
but it is true when people say that music can heal your soul and make u smile
A great song always saves a bad day.
and..i could listen to this one, over and over again.
Headphones on. Loud.

______________________________________________

O.K...I woke up in heaven today

She kissed me I floated away (away)

Never felt anything so great

Alright, now I brace myself for the fights

I’m light as a feather tonight

**Cause I can’t feel the ground

Someone let me down

I never felt so high as I do now

Its too good to be true

I don’t deserve you

I never felt a love strong enough to

Stop this world from spinning

Stop this world from spinning

And I see heaven when she looks at me

In her smile is the most amazing dream

And in her eyes I fall asleep

And I hope

Hope that she can see through the smoke

Of my imperfections into my soul

And my heart where she has control (she has control)

Happiness like this can never last (can never last)

Turns into the memories of the past (turns into the memories of the past)

??? (going just as fast)

for the Ne Yo fans out there..this is for you.

dont be bothered by the 'SHE' in the lyric..ladies.hehe..just turn it into a 'HE'

(^_^)

nc says: kadang2..lagu bukan sekadar lagu. boleh mencermin kn diri kita dan penyuntik semangat2 yg sewaktu dengan nya.. betulkn? :)

A Story Never Told.

Y e s.

I was an active CSS member way back in my campus study years in UMS.

CSS stands for Catholic Students Society.

It felt welcomed by being in the circle of strangers (then) but with the same faith. I learn how to praise the Almighty not just by prayers but through singing (especially those with actions, gosh..best bah) and our everyday words and deeds.

Looking back, i couldn't believe i have gone through all three years of studies and filled my schedule with the CSS activities as well (though not a super active member hehe) AND enjoyed it.

One of the most memorable thing that strike me still is the Belia Masuk Kampung activity.

An activity that was looked foward by all members every semester.

An activity that has brought us to the deep of the interior to share the news of Love from God. AND at the same time, a chance to learn the culture, lifestyles and stay with a foster family for a few days.

It might not be THE activity that all students was excited about at the time, but it was for a biG chunk of us.

Believe me,

when you are in a the middle of the interior, with Mount Kinabalu as your backdrop and cool weather surrounding you, there's nothing else you would want - but be AMAZED at the work of God.

Kampung Bunga Raya, Keningau.

Taking a picture with fellow friends and villagers at the church.

A masjid is nearby. This is Sabah.

Perhaps, it was the curiosty of the unknown that fired up my instinct to go places and meet people a.k.a jarang masuk kampung. My foster family owned a big wooden house. Yet, i could really feel their loneliness. A widow and two kids. I was glad we were there.

Second masuk kampung trip.

We were at the breathtaking interior of Tiang Lama in Ranau.

This was the most unforgettable, i guessed. My fellow friends and i stayed with senior parents in a sulap.

And they kept calling us ugou. :)

Ugou is a kadazandusun word that means 'dear'.

And the water running down from a bamboo-made pipe - cold. very cold. That's for shower - kampung style yeahh! Yet being there cured my almost a month of non stop coughing. I still have the hat i wore in the picture. hehe

And the last Masuk Kampung trip.

Kampung Batu Lunguyan, Keningau.

How could i ever forget crossing this river and strike a pose at the same time.

Awesome.

Want to know more about this place?

You can read it up here

I wrote it as part of the Borneo Colours task and as one of the finalist for the Borneo Top Blogger Award. Yayyy..i made it. But not without all your votes and effort my dear readers and buddies. And so, allow me to thank You who have voted my blog (iHaveADream Creations) in the Art and Design category..how could i ever thank u? You are in my prayers.

I would also like to congrats my fellow finalists and those who have reviewed the article. A million thanks buddies.

nc says:

did i mention that it was thru the CSS community that i met my future hubbi? heheh..yep. It happened. But looks like i have to drag him to mass now haha. hmm..i'm the angel in the family (kunun).

Peace surrounded the church.

A good friend, a distant uncle, an ex colleague was sleeping in front of the altar.

It's time to pay him our last respect.

It was his funeral.

I took my seat near the front row.

Together with all colleagues of different races, faces and religion.

More people were coming in.

Some were still in their school uniforms, some were nicely dressed in office attire..

some were wearing baju kurung and head scarf.

Seated together facing the altar in full respect of the deceased, offering handshakes and exchanging warm smiles.

No issue here.

There was never the need of it.

The priest began the mass service and politely asked everyone to pray in their own faith, belief, religion. It was understood.

Not one voice of protest or rebellious action were shown during the service period.

This is Sabah.

The place where i belong.

Where everybody understood that everybody has different beliefs and faith yet can still be together under one roof.

Come to Sabah..and you will understand.

It's not about the word that classify what religion you are.

It's the faith and belief that you show - and practice.

~

The mass ended.

Everybody finally paid their last respect to the deceased.

nc says: angkol, siou a, sa te senyum time last respect. I could feel that u were teasing me then. (^_^) u will never change.

Losing our precious miaw was one the saddest thing on Christmas last year.

Sad.
But.
Little blessings were delivered to us a day after Christmas last year.

God knows best..

Here are the pictures.

we put them in a little box. The mother cat kept re locating the kittens all over the house. But im so happy she stops doing it now. hehe.. it feels so good to watch them sleep together.

In nc's hand. This one is the cutest kitten. Looks just like the mother.
So small kn..

We call this one as the reincarnation of Gempiit.
Thats the name of our lost miaw.
Its a kadazan dusun word which means one eye closed. hehe..
Can you see the black love patch on the kitten's body?
Exactly like the father. Only this one a bit broken. Gempiit has a perfect love patch.
Piiiiitttttttttttttttttttt!!

Spot the airplane.
(^_^)
one of the kitten has a jet skecth on the body. Mcm kapal terbang kn? haha.. we're definitely going to call this one JET. The active one so far.

Thats Gempiit and his wife.
It still bring deep emo whenever i see this picture.
Piit slowly moved near his heavily pregnant wife then and before u know it, they fell asleep.
so darling.
I really miss him.
so gerammmmm.
:(

nc says: blm lagi tau ni tanak miaw2 smua she or he. Tapi harap2 smua sihat.

Really.

I really just want to run and hug him.

He used to run away whenever he saw my sister and i coming back from work. Because he will be the first thing we'll tangkap and snuggle cuddle2.
He hated attention - kunun.

Just show him the Friskies plastic bag and he would run to you - no matter what he was doing right then. Or, just shout his name loudly and he'll be searching where the voice came from, and see whether we had his favourite food.

He's the love of my family. Not a pet. But part of the family. J couldn't stand and understand our love for him sometimes. He was spoilt too much. oondos kadang2..in front of other cats. hmm..but he still our source of joy. My father loyal nap companion. zzzZZzzz..purrr..rrr

The whole family have dreams of him every now and then. We decided to build a little memorial for him in the middle of mum's flower2..just next to the aromatic kayu putih tree. His soul has not rest in peace yet. We are sure. He wants to come home.

The good old days. The bushes that leads to a hilly forest where he liked to roam and come home - everytime. Except this time..he never came back. The other cat is his pretty wife. She has four kittens now. A few days after he went missing. A day after christmas. We figured that all kittens are the nirvana of our their father.

Mother will sure miss the times when she gave bath to him. And how he smells of rosemary after each wet time. I miss that.

He slept on the bed with us. At his own cozy spot.
He was white. Maybe thats why i have gotten to like the color white a lot.
All his kittens are white..cute.
Will share the story soon.

Nc says: purr..rr...

We LOsT our precious miawwww..

in the kampung..

in the dark forever.

But, everybody refuse to believe that he is really gone.

. . . . .

Maybe this time, he's really abducted by the elves who found him to cute to be true..

(i'll share u the stories when im done with this feeling uhuhuhu)

Maybe..its the wild animals..

Maybe..he got bored of the Friskies we feed him everytime he's hungry.

Maybe..Lord loves him more.

nc says: we luv u.please come home..mi miaw

They say marriage is made in heaven.

A lot of people say so. No?

. . . . .

I still cant brush off what i've heard a few weeks ago - at church.

"tiada perkahwinan di syurga," the priest said in a sermon.

:( there was a big full stop in my mind.

The whole sermon was something about how we would be in the NEXT life - IF we make it there.

I cant help but wonder - until now: if marriage is really made in heaven, and why we have the blessed sacrament of marriage...WHY?

complaining..? not really. just thinking.. .t h i n k i n g.

can you imagine..we don't recognize one another anymore.. :( IF WE MAKE IT THERE.

Maybe its my S H A L L O W thoughts.
Forgive me, o Lord.

but..i guess, it is true. the world is never our own. even our souls.

Should we make it there..Praise.

In the meantime, appreciate whatever we have here now.

nc says: heaven knows..

"..tiada sda dia. ."

My father recalled the telephone conversation he had with our foster relative, yesterday.

I choked back on tears as i heard how little Fernandes had gone just like that.

His father was crying as he broke the news to my father.

A healthy 10 year old boy, suddenly stricken with mysterious illness.

His feet was swollen, but the doctors couldnt find anything wrong with him.

His chest was in pain. Still, the doctors couldnt help.

That was a week ago.

He is free now.

Yet,

I could hardly accept the fact that this 10 year old cute face, who would ransack our dvd collection and play different movies every 15 minutes,,,is not here anymore.

He was the youngest.

Bless his soul dear Lord.

nc says: that is the lost of just ONE family. the whole world seems to be at loss now against mother nature. God have mercy..

I'm not perfect..but with so many perfect expectations coming out from my little mind..?
..getting tired.
How i wish to be contented with everything that is there..n stop with the "where there is a will, there is a way' kind of thinking. its killing me.


. . . . .
We've got two months before the big day. gosh..i thought i can handle everything. hehehuhaha. nope.



nc says: ok. stop being perfect nc. Count ur blessings.

..a friendly reminder that i got today - just in time..

'When you are DOWN to nothing ...
God is UP to something'

nc says: its amazing how we live each day and experience life as it is.
Let's thank God..not for making the day today: 090909..but because we are HERE, NOW - alive, kicking n breathing

A wonderful morning in a wonderful day.

Perfect weather. Perfect sky.

..to Kundasang we went and click ourselves crazy..to make our own version of pre wedding moments that would be cherished forever.

Ok. enough said.

Though not a perfect shot..what a wonderful feeling the photos has brought to this little heart.

hahaha..yikes..sorry for being sappy, mushy mushy *&^%$ in my entries nowadays.

..but a good feeling should be shared..right?

so here's wishing all newly weds out there..a BIG congrats on ur wedding..and those upcoming brides to be..keep the faith.

enjoy the pics..only a few though.
as i've promised to make an entry on it (like anyone cared...? hahaha)

"nc..keep the faith."

hmm..one of our photographer favourite pic kunun.

i really love the background. haiiisshh..kalau la rumah sa begini..haha

kana suruh begaya kunun. tpi inda kana suruh tingu kamera.

haha..ntah la. but kind of nice. duii gia..

candid moments.

another candid moment. nasib temasuk juga muka kami dlm gmbr. sb kami jalan miring2 haha

A candid shot. though a small place, this restaurant has a very high market and arts value. Its one of the best stop over along the highway to kundasang that provides a magnificient view of the Mount Kinabalu. Well..we stop over late afternoon,,manyak kabus sda..but even more spectacular the place has become, least for me. :)

nc says:

yikes!! how time flies. okaiii..move it move it moveeeeee itttttt

Happy 2 know..that,

...u reminded me hundreds of time, growing old is part of human life.. (urang lagi kah tu kalu nda pndai tuaa?)

...we're both going to have lots of sun spots in the future, and u dont mind.

...u accept all my silly behaviours though it makes ur head spin sometimes.

...though ur never good with presents, u make it up with intangible moments.

...u realized i prefer tangible gifts on my birthdays; be it a pen or pencil..hehe

...though we'll be in a lot of stress the coming months, we'll see it through.

...u know i love red roses.

...u know that i know that we know what we should know..haha

...u always keep my feet on the ground and not have perfect expectations.

...u think we'll make great mum n dad..wow :)

...u would still jog with me though u've just finished a tiring day chores. (sebab lepas tu sa bja makan..hahah)

...though ur lense-shy (haha), u still create those moments for our photoshoot.

...u are my personal counselor, guru, and master in life.

...u wud drive anywhere with me, for me (sampai sasat di bandar2 sndakan ni huhu)

...u dont mind me blogging about the world and everything else.

...ur happy when im happy.

...u know what makes me happy.

..its OK if we're unable to celebrate birthdays on the day itself.

...we're both looking forward to many more coming trips together.yeshhh!!hehe

...u just called.

...it's OK not to be perfect.

Today..nc wants to sing: kalau rasa gumbira tupuk tangannn..(^_^), n cubit urang sebelah.haha

..n says: thank u J. ramai org slu kawin2 time bday kita kn? haha..sb tu slu belated celebration.kikikik

Yikess. I’ve hit the big three recently. hmm…people grow old. But not the heart..hopefully.

Thanks a million to all friends who have wished me a happy happy birthday. A HAPPY one indeed.

Finally got to take our completed bridal album and frames..and..my last gown fitting session. Auwww..what could be more wonderful than to try out some nice wedding gowns on ur birthday? Hehe

Life goes on..more meaningfully now. And im keeping a sweet song in my heart. Feet still on the ground though..as reminded by J, everytime I cross the silver lining.

" I dont wish to be everything to everyone rather i would like to be something to someone" - True enough.

Below: a virtual gift from mandy
thank u mandak :)

Nc says: I love August so much. Bisuk mo tiup lilin lagi..hehe..for my J. Happy birthday hun.